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[lastpost] => 2779526 打印 上一主题 下一主题 一直以为188金宝博是最靠谱最有实力的 然而不过如此！！ 1763459182 ghjkop
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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐+ @. R' s/ [- e- o6 a3 w* l' v4 g* f
8 s- U) ]$ [0 [4 i
/ ?/ |* o# [. t1 R2 S' g- P今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
7 E9 `! N# t, v( d, D% O8 m我先来！! `1 p6 J# T T @
7 o" b/ F G1 ]+ Q- @5 }: I
9 P' }* j9 K8 e5 i1 ?6 o I0 fA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”/ y/ W! q! S8 ?& F- v; }
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”7 P2 O0 C% U/ s. O9 T: `
7 X |8 D8 H' s9 \- l0 X" p( I4 z7 F Z; Z7 i
深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…", W5 l4 y& r" L/ s, F
. q7 X; @9 O2 a- [& d6 I
; A4 I+ S1 }, W2 x一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，" S2 c$ y b$ H5 j ^9 ?
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”7 G: I5 f/ e ?: Y
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
, u) {* p) b+ O2 r/ N所以非常受欢迎。
$ {% k5 {; Q/ H( \第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
/ C; d4 c' ~/ {' B( g- d问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
5 c3 H3 e! S8 B" R, @: O大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
2 |7 g' R. Y0 N7 b% J7 J回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
n# N9 M7 `8 Z5 Q) a4 x有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！; g# t4 j3 Y. X6 F1 p1 z: ^
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
( z% w+ b) M C/ k! ?( ]% F# o她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪! ?9 b H) B' [
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
9 s8 g6 D( S- E9 _% W0 f+ }. `+ n于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
, J$ x) {6 b# T ?小明：不行6 w% O2 ^! E7 @9 Y1 {+ A
老师：為什麼？* Y4 E! E) U+ m8 e/ x$ R1 b
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分3 R8 r4 d, j7 Z5 J1 |, e4 f
小明：我是照你的话做的
, w0 `/ [+ @ P+ d妈妈：我说了什麼？# e" W- u, {1 h8 L3 o6 q
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，2 T& ^1 h; E/ x; d
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，1 n, k+ `+ V) |3 u4 y/ a
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”: V7 q, Y0 t3 n: x: j* k
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？9 d& r) }' M& P: ]
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
' @: w4 J8 I+ x2 \& q& e: f小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！) d3 U! u, O4 Y6 p- X
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
6 [! K( ^; W9 c6 V+ F j! L% Q) L3 W) ~. D/ e e
& F! D" Y M! G- g" f2 r$ ?- R7 a大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。1 T: D5 P3 z9 F9 H) x; n
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