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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
5 e# E% T- {( ] g4 A" q9 e0 F9 \8 T! }+ r3 u% p3 J) ?
& i; }/ i) |: T3 q今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！' Y3 d/ ~, _6 t- d2 U. M3 J
我先来！
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" {( ]5 H4 ?4 t& \( i- E- [A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
W# f$ |; j j+ e* ?同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”/ A. a5 o3 [8 H: n6 H5 X1 ?$ n
0 U" k! }% z+ L9 c/ m; N& h. d- q/ R: ^& d
深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…" t7 [& M& E8 [4 v- y0 D
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，! F; U/ @6 e( z7 I' v
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”1 X, L* R( A5 Q _# n
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，6 X$ ~5 l2 r5 O- G1 J8 L& v2 b7 `
所以非常受欢迎。* s" b! [% O, Z2 x* |/ n
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，* i: ?' @7 ?) A& ?8 d& E
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”7 G0 T, j5 R! K8 m# R l& l) j# u
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
1 w/ y5 e5 d: H* M+ Z回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：3 F, H O- S" ] y6 w$ }$ A
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！0 w# _8 \8 h9 U* n" l
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
/ H& \' ]% ]' w7 L* t她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪) d6 o2 S. r5 H( K; c! B( Y
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。' U) E; ?; x, `$ ~2 y9 _
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
; J0 k# Y1 }2 Z# }4 ^& ^; g5 Z. U小明：不行
, E) Q) c4 T8 L" o2 g* k4 z6 l老师：為什麼？
( O4 S9 I* D3 |$ k# D小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
B; o- ?! c. h" m, P/ l( T小明：我是照你的话做的* `! }7 T$ C; @1 j/ P( g
妈妈：我说了什麼？# |: I- A. e* j& \6 a$ c9 G5 n
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，9 ~; T# N8 J. A' ] M( X2 L0 _ C
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，. t% _1 E4 O$ [1 ]6 y
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
0 q% ?3 I e* I% u小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
/ m! Z" f, A z5 E妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？1 d, K* |, \6 Q; W% C+ M9 A0 S4 O
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
+ W7 P; o# j5 I; u Z0 |4 B然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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6 i$ {. s0 A' a" H6 z4 g! ?. a% X% l大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。 ? `& E/ K3 v: h7 P
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