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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
' d" h3 @& [) ^( ~7 A! _/ `$ \, `% k, R& _2 X
1 s: B/ K" y" p4 q9 g' u) i今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
7 Y; I$ x, `! _0 i m; S我先来！. H5 e3 G8 I7 t; h8 U% A% E
* K! E. Y2 Q! Y/ I
7 K4 x0 m7 v( [9 ~$ d5 a3 U+ r! f8 u( @A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”+ T4 S" m- P! q& G$ ]9 ]
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”) ~8 z3 x+ ?, T5 ^+ X! h5 e e
# @5 K6 V* j; i: U! {8 V3 o8 V- w" _+ V( r9 g2 z) _. `
深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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: D/ z+ E7 V g: S* v一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
# H% {6 _, A. J# r- z每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
7 u$ T; ~( N, d1 p6 H1 s弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
8 R# a; W9 ~+ E5 f7 M2 q' {所以非常受欢迎。6 S B1 }. I2 a# H, ^) l& Z9 t
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来， V* \( Z% E/ p
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”5 Z, U! d- [, q& \- |3 j
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
2 s5 ]( z, o; ~3 a% D p z3 W回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：$ i0 H0 Q) I, n8 r4 Q4 b" p
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
1 f! {9 \$ [1 p9 Z+ }3 i$ ^3 v不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”( a! `+ }% P4 b' n
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪4 T6 w9 L+ W9 T0 ~. p; @" r; O8 ?
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。/ t, v% D. a6 w, s' v: ]
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
4 i A) Y: Q! E0 G小明：不行
6 P) m$ ^3 e J6 L- w* y老师：為什麼？: Z# {3 ^" D# j3 A
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分- E' B$ J; ]; d2 u% C" e( A
小明：我是照你的话做的& F/ Z1 e! n$ Q! E5 X
妈妈：我说了什麼？/ i. k, s0 Y) A; a( n+ z3 g2 x
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，9 X% P2 }' V9 T5 _; v/ q
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，* }! _: O) P/ Q& `; [) a
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
8 K" c5 j' K$ |; H小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？' N. a' C2 |' D0 J1 r# P& d" D( N
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
8 n1 h- E$ \$ D4 x. U小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！. f6 r5 L8 K+ U/ x+ ?! Z% ] d
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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! d9 D8 U6 t. w8 b- E- }% S+ V9 X9 v6 `0 w$ K7 W1 u. A
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。: N# Z `1 O. e8 }" C0 l# g
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$ A7 }$ A- b$ s/ V7 d' x) {3 i' ]
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