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1.局花* b& N! W# R( z: S5 J, F
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，6 p1 h0 W! }2 ?% b- e- C
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
2 {; c! E' Q: e# V小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。& @: \; ^7 F! k
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么* r' Y' r# B7 |- q" M
5 k8 ~: e; o4 t; O* y+ ?, y2.媳妇2 I% S2 k. Z, c5 J+ \' G& b; Q
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
; h! n6 V0 U& R U他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
; U5 e' T& y8 U5 z+ W9 B" Y0 H谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
5 ~( {( Z; m# \; @5 \* H评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺7 p3 C( ^+ u: @! Y Y
0 A% u3 f: r8 ?) u ^: c3.倒贴
8 e8 i) K7 J4 M. r5 p t% G6 O过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
6 \1 J+ O5 B7 M! l! u! Q) Q2 w" Y k于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
+ D, ~/ x3 P1 |) {0 _老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”, z& _. K; k7 P
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”3 G7 a4 w- Z- s# X, {& M$ H" _1 ~6 L
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
9 a M+ p# J2 w4 C8 ~7 L“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”9 I0 j( C+ x# f( Y' \
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊 J% c4 } S/ q5 l
- e. ^) p6 j; o' o( \
4.刺激
# j# j; `/ b# [* S1 n% D今天我走在街上，: Q4 y2 i8 T9 _- j2 p
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
0 W9 ^1 ?; _* w" ?2 v( R0 `0 n，我心想完了。. x* L9 k% I/ v: g( |* H
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
$ {+ P. j& q5 r/ Y# t6 g$ C2 h“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。4 H* ~, F, e/ {6 N' Z( B @
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！0 S% C+ \$ Q* V, S. ?; E5 _ m9 C
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激% Y6 \* o$ M5 N
$ U$ E( C& E L+ |: T" \5.不加倍
. K, F a3 g! }# r: O小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
$ W0 ~2 n- Q* s- b4 b今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。: b7 s7 i2 {: Q: |+ m
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”, `0 Z/ t4 L% J* @% }0 w
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
6 O3 }. E4 U8 a" r% f- A' A小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”$ s `$ c, Y& `8 M4 l$ p+ \8 ?" ^
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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