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1.局花
5 W( U* [& `; I1 s* q2 i局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，9 p+ o: L! o N1 `- ~0 X
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
2 [9 p, @* r& Z; |; Z小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
1 H" O0 y; R7 k4 T评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么" g- [3 g( r4 L$ [) m
3 W0 I R0 f5 B- Y% z2.媳妇
5 I* l+ d* b |% ?! L& y$ k10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。7 B" [0 V. p1 [* i( T
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”# |1 Q& A h( ~' [9 a+ s& |
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”( k3 P* ]' H% L" ~9 f4 N9 v; q
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
0 F; J& o3 w, b4 n- B% A4 [, f" L; z
9 e4 i0 U( w; [9 x7 s3.倒贴
5 q: ^9 S. s. w, P. j' e' {过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。' ?9 S0 D1 ]( j9 B7 y2 f
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。* F; t( k! X! T2 Y- C
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
0 Q3 d" x+ H F" n老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
1 Z' g8 N# R3 r# C话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，, r1 S6 Z: `0 D# u5 D. o
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
" L: r. u5 G/ L- P' R/ G评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
; E3 ]2 V; j6 m9 w, G
% |: W4 |! `% D4.刺激
: B" H4 g% p) W( F3 p# L今天我走在街上，
* ~, ^) `2 x- c* T8 C对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
% w/ a. k+ K" S，我心想完了。$ O! y7 j) Z8 w2 s7 f- @/ N/ n
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
6 V; O; {+ t) j8 s“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。! F- [2 G9 y% ~ z6 t
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！ S' `1 E0 H; b6 L
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
3 R4 X9 Q4 t0 c, b; J) e* n' p1 r$ Q( v
5.不加倍4 J9 U) e' P0 ]" ^
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
+ H ~$ Y* R4 r' K3 K* w7 |今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。2 c/ J1 g- L* y; \! R
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”9 g. a- b- `5 k! c2 l1 ~1 x
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
% o0 \# [% s# U. ]4 o; J/ R5 }& J小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”+ F- N O4 d! o1 G$ J
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的9 L/ w- G. o( N1 x
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