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1.局花8 Z3 z$ G, [- A2 g6 G
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，' P8 D6 R3 M) s% V% B$ j
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
: U9 a1 D7 h: f" w W7 @& }小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。6 c4 M) \5 E! G. D
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么3 [% g5 q: d. [1 I* G
, e1 @) u1 f' U* s: u) f, `8 ^7 {2.媳妇, B; w8 N/ x% T {3 K- K
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。8 ]9 G) ~6 c* j" h- {3 }# m
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”& Z. ^, ~# S: `: u- D0 D5 _
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
5 {4 t* P( `9 Z0 r3 e; H评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
% ~( t" X# U: }0 U x9 e6 s B9 b5 G" C ]% ]6 P: c4 D, _ x
3.倒贴
# M, r }9 G- o" Q/ X6 [( K5 g过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
! t, Y# a* d4 S) G于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
( i8 C! r3 z: s" l6 o9 Y. O4 k老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”& Z( a& S+ `; Y0 j6 s
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
$ d" j" ]3 m1 N! I3 `; O$ L话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
) g$ B. [3 n1 d/ Y& w“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”8 K4 J) [8 P6 B& Y* L
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
3 T$ i6 Z. ]% B$ ?7 r1 C5 B+ W
8 I) a3 N' j" b' O, [) H6 j4.刺激
' ?7 W8 e3 i9 M" O* t今天我走在街上，% m( r1 G# M4 z+ C; H" }* o2 I
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺5 C( q# [4 J1 f1 ~
，我心想完了。# t! c7 `$ b/ c/ H
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
# l, C- _! f6 F4 e% ?“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。1 C0 W4 L Y$ s* z J
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！+ \4 R- @1 Z9 X. t6 |
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激9 Y1 d+ s# \: k& @
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5.不加倍
; P$ ^* g8 x/ B% O( J小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
# k) h. e) U ]' k/ X" Y今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
; o. D7 @9 R7 F3 J; V$ q老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
8 ^' R) _) L( W1 G0 r小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”' k0 O3 v' O1 N" p$ T
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
' K/ q0 v: ]: `评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的! P8 F- p# J) h# B) s
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