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1.局花
) B) I2 d; T4 W6 x1 V$ }/ L局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，6 y5 `6 h8 v* [; L( u
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，; W* ?7 a* T6 p g
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
% w: M, G0 M$ M6 ^# w+ b评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
3 ?+ {: J& Z+ P N
' `+ {3 _) o& }# ~+ M2.媳妇
+ M2 Q" n" G6 }# b5 J10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。; d5 o& E. U4 ^6 G7 y
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”' l: q0 x( h7 H: n$ [1 I- {0 r
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
1 x+ U# ]% P* m- U% }评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
5 E% c; n5 a, h' V; Q, S, n: ?4 J m- I! A: {% j
3.倒贴0 Q1 {7 ^, ~5 f1 p9 R
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
% e. n7 R6 {6 M8 B% y( J' f9 c; D7 r于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。: C2 k% l0 i' ~0 m) {
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
4 Q- w$ g0 _% ~* J( k2 H老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”! S) L2 P$ Y7 e5 M/ B# B; I
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
; `. d) Q. _) J6 ~“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”- F+ `8 e( K' M3 r
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊/ |( g6 a' S7 N D
) \& p" r1 p. I, ?& D4 F
4.刺激
I: w9 |9 X. u* a今天我走在街上，
+ k9 j8 s Q' s* O对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
" \; ^( A( q. J+ U，我心想完了。
' [, B+ ^) R. f- g过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
+ h4 N* _# }9 |+ f% p- @* v8 L“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。9 c+ _% _4 ]3 O6 Z6 w9 L
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
6 ?( b* r* g" d% }: n评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
5 w; a* E6 C) @; P" A% N0 `
; P7 _2 y9 ^, ]7 C. J$ Q" t2 W7 e0 ?5.不加倍
$ _1 |* S# Y+ w) M0 @- H小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，0 O+ E# P- J5 D, V ^- X
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
% Q8 R0 D# m/ N& k老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
3 z7 q0 U9 H- G5 k6 I( F小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
+ J* E4 }( B9 R小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”. m8 d5 J/ y8 U% [
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的9 E' R5 A5 q' L! D- R
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