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【新年第一搞】天朝李毅强于梅西的种种证据
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找了N个大帝李毅强于梅西的理由,大家娱乐娱乐。龙年开始,博时娱乐也重要,开心一刻,大发大发!3 b0 h1 I3 `' Y5 I* Q$ ^' i+ ~
身高:2 c$ j* i: R1 i. g/ n. U4 k
大帝身高1.84,而梅西身高只有169:强弱悬殊,高下立判!6 W: Z) ?' c0 i: S. V8 E7 {& P- G
别名:
: U# o& H; A+ j1 l" x3 l+ W5 o3 K李毅的别名是大帝,而梅西的别名却是小跳蚤。一大一小,强弱悬殊,高下立判!
8 b% Q C: w S. Q; A. C足球技巧:( U+ ^) ~" t/ v( [) a2 y1 p; V9 u
许多知名球员都有自己擅长的控球或过人技巧,比如齐达内的马赛回旋,小罗的牛尾巴过人,德尼尔森的踩单车等等。大帝的技巧是蚌埠回旋(护球的高级技巧之一,指球员在高速护球的过程中,使用361度拉球转身的动作护住足球,摆脱对手的抢断,将球牢牢地护在自己脚下的高级足球技巧。由于这一技巧由李毅大帝首创,故使用大帝的家乡命名为“蚌埠回旋”),然而梅西有什么知名技巧或者动作吗?没有!
' r& ]& {- j. {& x H' ^" Y俱乐部:
* O5 F. J+ C- ?# t6 A4 O1 d大帝在不通俱乐部都踢过球,说明大帝在足坛人脉广,在哪都吃得开。$ I/ T- ~) X9 H& D, ?) B4 S
反观梅西,踏入足坛多年却只在一家俱乐部呆过,其中的内涵不言自明。
' R! Z8 M3 E- f0 ^1 ]球场作风:
8 P8 f) ?0 Z7 d- i+ C' H9 V大帝在球场上就是奋不顾身的代表,敢抢敢拼敢护球,这才是一个足球运动员引诱的素质。2 P% i% ^& ?7 @3 V+ ~
反观梅西,竟然在球场和别的球员公然搞基!7 W# H' r+ K- r3 f3 O3 `, ]2 q% {
性能力:$ T) i3 p1 }1 u( u
大帝曾经给某男科医院做代言,性能力可见一斑
# N3 H2 U' b8 u) ]# w0 B1 U梅西呢?虽然没见过他的jb,但是想想一定就是个和屌丝差不多的金针菇了。+ L# c8 r I; g. _* |) P' H
女友/妻子:
" F" }' [2 N9 O4 C, z大帝的夫人,端庄典雅,没有8分也有7分,而且目测粉木耳。
3 W3 g+ O3 a) i% Z Q反观梅西女友,公众场合却穿着如此暴露,可以想象木耳已经碳化了。
' l) x# H! |% c* f7 H$ S场下训练:
% }4 }/ \: }$ V1 \" V( O& o7 C大帝是名合格的运动员,不仅场上奋勇争先,场下也积极训练。看大帝的笑容,说明他充分体会到了足球带来的快乐。
! K* i" \9 l$ Z6 X; T ^反观梅西,苦逼的表情,丝毫看不到对训练的热情,疲态尽显。5 ^2 ~! O( V7 O- t6 p
对球迷的态度:! c0 z: J9 w+ F* J$ C! B* V
大帝也是人,所以难免失误。当面对愤怒的球迷指责自己时,大帝只会要求他们“要骂你下来骂”,而没有过激的举动。
( b- X: M, J7 K$ {反观梅西,为了发泄自身的怒气,却直接将球踢向看台。; D/ ]- C7 q$ Q, t2 H
对裁判的态度:
# t4 R1 d E6 D; U4 S* @面对裁判的判罚,大帝总是一笑而过,不带走一丝云彩。' I0 n2 J7 j2 W/ j' ]
反观梅西,却上前与裁判争执。
1 |7 J- X* n/ j( M' X1 X$ k面对教练:6 ]' N. C9 O2 H) \# G' c; L% n; I
大帝敢于指责教练的过错,迟尚斌下课后,一句“天亮了”惊醒世人。2 m8 R* e7 A$ V- W3 Z
反观梅西,却只会一味给教练舔屌。 |
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