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【新年第一搞】天朝李毅强于梅西的种种证据
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找了N个大帝李毅强于梅西的理由,大家娱乐娱乐。龙年开始,博时娱乐也重要,开心一刻,大发大发!
}- O+ Z! q9 {+ m- {7 A* J1 v( h身高:% u7 [: ?" e8 e0 V; J
大帝身高1.84,而梅西身高只有169:强弱悬殊,高下立判!
2 f+ Q! {1 G) ^3 O# T6 L+ t; e别名:, u* C6 b# | H1 }% K0 V* P+ [
李毅的别名是大帝,而梅西的别名却是小跳蚤。一大一小,强弱悬殊,高下立判!
; M/ N4 ?/ B! T$ @: U( p% F u足球技巧:; s1 }- T# \( c
许多知名球员都有自己擅长的控球或过人技巧,比如齐达内的马赛回旋,小罗的牛尾巴过人,德尼尔森的踩单车等等。大帝的技巧是蚌埠回旋(护球的高级技巧之一,指球员在高速护球的过程中,使用361度拉球转身的动作护住足球,摆脱对手的抢断,将球牢牢地护在自己脚下的高级足球技巧。由于这一技巧由李毅大帝首创,故使用大帝的家乡命名为“蚌埠回旋”),然而梅西有什么知名技巧或者动作吗?没有!% Y, w0 R; Y4 R# u# {
俱乐部:
$ x" j( h1 C+ q4 r大帝在不通俱乐部都踢过球,说明大帝在足坛人脉广,在哪都吃得开。
0 g8 c. b2 \. x% T1 W5 U1 n反观梅西,踏入足坛多年却只在一家俱乐部呆过,其中的内涵不言自明。
. C' ]* b' M. M3 V球场作风:
: F7 M, S% W& |, L+ D" u大帝在球场上就是奋不顾身的代表,敢抢敢拼敢护球,这才是一个足球运动员引诱的素质。
1 h8 u* G. B; ~; S# f' X反观梅西,竟然在球场和别的球员公然搞基!
& U4 G3 |* U/ U& x5 r性能力:
\; R9 L* }8 K. w1 V大帝曾经给某男科医院做代言,性能力可见一斑9 l' t5 F+ @( D3 { ^3 i
梅西呢?虽然没见过他的jb,但是想想一定就是个和屌丝差不多的金针菇了。
3 o2 h1 ] y: V: n女友/妻子:
, Y4 \ q% @0 l! n4 A大帝的夫人,端庄典雅,没有8分也有7分,而且目测粉木耳。. @9 F& v) R- k1 N9 D, n2 e
反观梅西女友,公众场合却穿着如此暴露,可以想象木耳已经碳化了。5 x! ^' z8 @! _0 y' I
场下训练:2 k6 _6 t. S z& i
大帝是名合格的运动员,不仅场上奋勇争先,场下也积极训练。看大帝的笑容,说明他充分体会到了足球带来的快乐。
$ \8 K' O; b6 B$ Q4 V反观梅西,苦逼的表情,丝毫看不到对训练的热情,疲态尽显。 d. \; w9 o' \4 {: ~
对球迷的态度:& [" x% H$ M' m# E, l
大帝也是人,所以难免失误。当面对愤怒的球迷指责自己时,大帝只会要求他们“要骂你下来骂”,而没有过激的举动。
0 Z X$ a* \6 D5 `/ X反观梅西,为了发泄自身的怒气,却直接将球踢向看台。$ q" [; m! K+ q# O
对裁判的态度:' I5 r, b3 Z) T3 K; o
面对裁判的判罚,大帝总是一笑而过,不带走一丝云彩。
! E/ }* I5 G: ~/ o7 |6 U! y反观梅西,却上前与裁判争执。7 O" o/ \ G" A d
面对教练:
* W/ B! U6 v- E, N9 O大帝敢于指责教练的过错,迟尚斌下课后,一句“天亮了”惊醒世人。
! M8 H i1 d5 h9 Y% m0 l反观梅西,却只会一味给教练舔屌。 |
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