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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
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+ d' @8 W# _ S5 E2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”# r! [' g ?* X& W3 T# U4 Q% O2 v# @
% V1 Q- I4 b, ]( t- l4 t5 t男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”3 f6 g6 ?3 c2 k( ~- j& N; u) p% G
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3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。
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( u$ q9 h8 O3 o2 w) [! \- {1 L/ d老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。8 S( B$ ~. y0 N5 g
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女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。, {+ q- y) r4 j( a% S+ o
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笑死我了。。。
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4 Q3 P( B9 ]4 N/ b% H4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,
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可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!
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0 B. t( q* O3 `6 _7 d- i晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”
9 B6 b8 t' l2 `1 a: a% N
" w/ b( U2 P5 u恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,
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就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”
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孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
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( k( z7 o3 n- @ Y# N( {5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,
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2 } e9 N! W/ ~# ?我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!8 d" k* h8 P+ C' W, x. S
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一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。9 m8 p3 }5 I R8 I" ?6 Q C
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当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?
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我,无业闲人一个。! Z6 ]! m6 O! ^
! x# M+ c. c0 B k女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?5 I( f! h0 V; f0 S7 ^; v0 p3 a
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我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。& [) z6 K4 m/ \3 t) h
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女:滚她妈犊子,滚…" n" U. z& X/ a V" O$ `
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当前离线
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