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1.局花
/ X2 ~* T2 u: F* k- F+ j局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
( Q* k3 j& j6 e: @8 ^ h% r) h$ f心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
8 L6 N" _' \8 N" P小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
5 {' ]: E5 \/ z/ F% a2 m评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么; ~% [! m; h" J, r
0 k! J1 G% Q$ l" E3 h ]0 v
2.媳妇; a4 B3 U9 w' y4 r- H3 g/ D
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。3 ]' K2 d: |0 K- @: h0 Z3 k
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
8 P; r4 o& g* u谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
4 {% W* N' y/ o1 F评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺! ` R( W- _9 Z, |8 D
) m ?, M4 _! T* e6 F; Q+ E- Q3.倒贴4 U& v1 S4 V# v: g/ Y
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。' s- c6 D% p1 v5 Q- V
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
' L7 Y( E o4 m老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
" n* V' K/ J- M3 X# |7 R老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”" c& ?* m3 D$ K: B
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
6 S+ u9 x) a) R4 `- R, Z“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
9 E" w& }; Y6 w: T/ j8 x7 ^" R评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊9 G& u; A! @* ^" P
l( c9 @) C, X; P4 R$ Q" L4.刺激
2 B" t' T) `# Q% f6 p7 m- y0 l7 f* Z今天我走在街上，
# i' h5 p$ X; R' x- k对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
: g- w: ~ I) a3 j4 O+ A" \8 M，我心想完了。
' z: |) q# d: I/ u7 K2 b% S过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。3 B- n2 f" m! f7 P
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
. B7 x \! r K; L尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
' T" t4 D% Q4 Q/ \! h3 k评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
! F5 u2 j# p% s7 \3 ?. S# Z2 h8 m. ~2 ]. f7 {4 `& Y5 B
5.不加倍$ A1 @7 I0 ` c" v2 r
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
9 l8 @$ ?9 h$ \; A今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
' o' a* M+ ]! L, k6 q- f: C! K老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
( r* b. m! U ]$ _8 v+ J7 r小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
( R% L( R* _# J* \; r小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”, ~: E2 C) M" I3 x* J
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的 g/ I! d1 ^, l, |; M
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