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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
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f( ?/ Y3 f3 d" F2 f$ E0 X2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”' [9 d4 S* I9 S8 U% d& U
: D; Y: z- N% ?1 n# }男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”$ f' d: A8 F, v6 g4 t7 K5 P7 n) F1 b, f3 C
2 Z( N5 R! c( D% [6 n: [3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。
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$ P/ s7 c5 @8 o1 p/ } ?9 [老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。; o* b6 W" q: {) J; A
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女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。
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2 Y* m( D# L7 ]5 Q# L" \+ N6 S% B笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,% ^9 ]6 i- w+ M3 A& k6 O* b% V' }' _
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可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,
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: _3 D' Q5 ~! @# L) {- I: ^2 H$ Z我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!1 i# W8 }. w% e$ X4 a
8 n' h7 D$ j. C3 h/ {" n
她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!1 O: J) f" B( S' B- E
: W3 z* U: B% c晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”8 R, D* K" [0 {( z7 j7 M1 k& p/ ~' t
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恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,
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就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”
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9 Y& z# C r$ y2 y0 f' B# b2 l孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,4 d! x& l* o# _4 H0 X
6 O7 L) l8 B, u f我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!# m$ j8 d8 ^: Z( U) n! k4 u }7 R
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一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。6 v/ r* F& V# |2 Y
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当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?8 ~1 \3 e3 o4 B: V* G
/ ^. ~0 H/ A0 e; d; L( D! k! N我,无业闲人一个。" V& _( R% z3 |% \' h k0 z
; K" Y! Z) a: i: J4 n" d女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?- h3 f6 I, o& ?
4 D* B8 R/ p& {/ v _我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。
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- k8 R" O5 y5 U1 t6 m; p' L女:滚她妈犊子,滚…" n6 ^1 v K' F3 X
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当前离线
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