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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”: s4 t& f- ~ r% g# k
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”3 n, U# ^, A8 o4 d8 V: R$ q/ R
- V+ X; X" s0 e男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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" O% [$ B( @* d. T. J" p3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。( ~8 Q$ j$ u) N; v; i7 r5 p1 Y" @
5 L9 C4 u" _/ f, M& M( A ?5 u老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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; R- x \$ i0 J' g- I# |/ ~9 _! K+ l女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。! G0 n$ _, a6 M+ N- G9 H
# v% ~, W, r/ o+ f; W笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，* T5 ~8 x3 V1 }0 h4 G. E3 r- b
6 x( M+ Q0 i6 m5 g+ Z. i可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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9 e9 T: s; C, q- T我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!# z1 O8 q7 ?3 }; P) s
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!+ c4 y9 P- D% r9 Q( C' P5 J
, q b' M# S, w8 w2 N# ?晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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" J' B9 N- Q7 N# a. {% ^恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，; S$ y J& M1 s+ @
9 T+ s A& h+ A6 h0 D就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，( _, ~, J# P8 d; \/ N, e$ g; d9 `3 U- r
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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6 g/ F T8 z. s一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。* y/ W w3 c5 d+ ^0 J
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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3 v/ i/ k: b+ c% J" u! \" z我，无业闲人一个。
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。. I3 O4 u; i. n0 ]% m# v2 K5 l
* Y7 `; x7 y- ?8 n# {. k女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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