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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”3 W& R x3 q3 X7 H
' n1 z! y0 t3 {2 Z" ?2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
* H2 Y+ T, ~% \ y
0 q7 j- V8 b- i+ {3 Q Q男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”( B* D, `) X) j T1 T& B
: ^! F" i+ {+ ?( i1 ?3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。: Z' e: F( y% N' q( s
( d6 L% ?* {" d9 F, K老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。9 ?2 k8 J% r1 H5 ?
3 H& L) H, D0 I3 B* y) H笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,
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~* I' r t: r8 X5 Z! @/ x可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!
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8 N" e8 q3 ?8 d. ]! W6 l3 x1 i3 _晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”
. [' S' i7 s! U2 D: x9 i# H6 @- v
恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,
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就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”" S' [+ y$ J; p! C
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孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
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* a4 I. O: p1 T3 I8 Q+ O _5 z4 H5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,& h3 n. ~ Y e$ M" {. T( D
+ ]: n, u2 F9 y0 h我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!
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, V/ [. }6 t- K4 ~2 U. x% X一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。
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当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?
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, P' W' h" S# l/ ]2 y7 j" t& o! N1 i我,无业闲人一个。
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女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?
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0 i- V U% R2 b) A @' R) T我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。7 S" d2 l3 c2 g. _8 _. ]+ Y
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女:滚她妈犊子,滚…
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当前离线
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