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1.局花
* A! i& G" p/ t# q3 ^( z* g c' V局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，" v* X7 m N4 c: c% l
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，( P, h) H4 i' e, }7 C
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。# Z! |% v: C; b, J! [4 C8 i! X
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么* f0 D4 ~: V k
8 j( r/ }) p# { C* [/ i/ b
2.媳妇
1 P% H0 N& F5 M6 n* p+ }10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。% z- B$ L2 R9 k. N9 U
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
) M& I7 d% v2 ~% s2 {7 N, n谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”. l, W. P) i) U% C% ^0 ~
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺4 v! q7 Q8 S3 F# n! [, @2 l
+ { r2 y! p8 p3.倒贴
; \: x( O3 [0 h5 K% H过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
: j5 D3 U5 Q; s s于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
9 F$ U: ] Z1 w* F2 c1 h/ Y老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”( p E3 a% B6 H- ?9 G
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
' K8 I6 r6 |' K' G话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
/ S+ A9 O( u+ K5 |0 c“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
$ l- X# b- w/ [- u- T/ s7 S评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊& o/ g6 k% c- }. [- v
% r3 G/ H0 I: i, {" R2 F) n7 M
4.刺激
+ C6 A5 f4 p1 z# P+ L今天我走在街上，4 I K$ B) `8 a- _3 r7 i
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺/ J, i* d2 u$ {5 b! o0 l4 A7 L$ z
，我心想完了。
" \* \8 J% j& G3 m过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
% Q$ c- W" ~! k4 W% v9 f. ]' @4 f1 j“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
8 _, K8 U! K/ U' `% A6 E `* @4 g尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！% v' y0 k8 T# ~% L3 ~+ P8 D
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激$ i% o/ @, r& c+ R( r4 I7 Q
6 t' L8 l3 w/ K: g8 I5.不加倍
) B2 V$ U1 |5 L% \小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，4 D: x' K6 B6 G- X. d
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
+ w0 p( G# J, L) O( i" ~. T5 x老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
3 J" e/ n" |% X2 A* _# }9 p% Y小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”$ w5 V0 |4 e. B; C: C. F
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
4 V; S4 W6 C/ }% \评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的8 p1 A; M) q* `6 c! _1 ?9 ^" O
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