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1.局花2 y& Z0 ]; v0 m
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
7 Q% G7 B$ ]6 h4 l7 ^心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
0 _9 z. v& Y2 S8 E小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。" s/ g/ s! Z% i
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
* \4 r* D3 [1 B& x& e+ g2 f
9 a1 l. z! |2 h+ x0 b4 y! j" g2.媳妇" z( @: d& X- ^& V {
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
" E6 H' E! d' Z) a: H/ l/ U! L) F他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”8 j5 m2 @1 \% y& M- J3 p; q5 j
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
* e" }+ c" G* |+ E7 m, k) o* O评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺6 [0 v7 J$ v) e( k
3 h* z- o; f6 {6 E$ S" t9 L4 C3.倒贴
8 K! P' Q! F( v" s4 R6 f& K' d0 @过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
( q6 M: K2 t# {* v于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。# \$ t# n2 D! X c* n! k- A* R
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”9 t3 T$ p* Y& W8 F) p
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
# Z7 [$ ?5 Y( i话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，9 f( w4 H5 p9 Q1 e6 K
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”* @+ M( a F! X6 S F, v
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊# D7 e% I1 X9 C4 \+ ?5 {
* z% O3 n, g3 M6 N, Y& @4.刺激" i4 a& d7 _1 v$ e* z
今天我走在街上，
6 Q0 h$ {5 v$ _+ l1 i0 m; Q对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺% \- \; ?' H' D& C# [
，我心想完了。! o5 l5 _* ^. J8 _( A/ f
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。( l N; j4 D; I9 k5 U/ g
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。* U$ J' |: X. I+ |; B6 A
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
6 J) P$ c+ D6 V# c' K评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
/ B( g2 Z6 `( y1 k ? R; C/ a9 [$ U" e
5.不加倍
. ]. I# c- a/ }- ^小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，- [& ^# z" k% i, Y9 p' O
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。; e4 j5 G* J( T. w' p M6 T: O
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”2 ~! K/ A8 L; c' h5 Z2 J
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”( c+ N: B* L9 ^4 i; p; \
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
* t4 o2 U: U3 ~8 J. w评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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