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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
/ V7 V! n+ C; Y
: o& K Q; c9 Z Q$ _, P: I2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”* z% a( {# p. X( ~$ X
7 F! h+ J1 g# z; k9 j% q* q男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”1 J3 ]; D; f) Q5 z1 ^
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
* K5 E1 S8 g) t
/ U( W" v5 n3 c5 K老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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& u- k# r. w, h女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，# w; ~6 Z& f4 g" O" i
# ]+ q" s/ B6 u0 C可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!8 O+ |# R8 N5 f! u! l1 T# }0 }
6 I. t3 ~, C3 S晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
6 H& E! ^- {0 ?! D7 {4 U/ g; p$ b
$ A& I" o& Q! w8 S8 V, a恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
$ v8 k' t7 i6 ^. r+ {
% g% L0 b1 G/ m8 D b就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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: o5 s( c. u4 o4 @$ l& Y; f孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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4 ?3 Q& B3 Q9 v5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，$ P7 @ O, h6 K6 U+ Z* M
|8 @" {- u8 m: t3 |
我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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' ^, J7 N& r' a& T一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？
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7 f. P' [3 S) X3 K我，无业闲人一个。$ y- e) e) F( I) R3 o/ ~' Y3 E
) i, [6 W3 t2 G. t$ v女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？1 A! v) J+ `& s; P
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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% H8 c! V, h ^8 p; I女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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